A Whimsical ’50’

So, the title actually reads as A Whimsical Fifty. I’m truly lucky to have readers as y’all for supporting me in your own little ways! I gave this blog, said title, because I want to touch up on a couple of topics here, rather than just one.

Firstly, let’s talk about public places. It’s something we encounter almost everyday, unless you’re socially awkward and love the confinements of your four walls. It is certainly a daily thing to me, being in at least more than one public place per day. Therefore, I notice the unconscious choice of so many white colored people, when they’re out in the open. I see this happening in public transports, in public gatherings and why not, (let’s say) work places. It is, in fact, prevalent, even in this day and era, that white colored people make unconscious choices to avoid dark-colored people. Of course they do not make open statements, for the fear of social media but they do make silent choices, some we many never notice, unless we look closely, in a racial manner. Let me give you examples to support my argument.

  • If you look closely, in buses, people may sit next to dark people ‘due to lack of space to sit otherwise’. But notice the conscious distance they keep, in terms of even slight touching.
  • Another example, is from my personal experience. We were part of the rock band of our school and were looking to recruit new people this year. The teacher in-charge of us, disperses us from practice, to propose an open call across school, but calls upon one girl, in private, to tell her how to select members. I believe, that a band (any band) is strong only when the voices and performances are strong. But our teacher didn’t think so. She thought it would be wise to pick girls, who are fair and beautiful instead of picking those with beautiful voices.
  • Heck here’s another personal experience of mine. I happen to live in Chennai, an extremely humid place. So I’m fair by birth, but tend to tan a lot during summer and retain back my color, during winter. That paves way for me to appear in two colors per year (extremely). Believe me, that’s an issue when it comes to the way of treatment I receive. It may not be so obvious, but the sarcastic hints and traces left behind, can be understood only when you listen carefully.

By this time, you must have realised that my first topic was indeed racism and not public places. Racism has been a very sensitive topic to touch on, for a long time, because no matter who addresses it, people still have their own aversions. Getting cornered out of social circles that included fair north Indians or white brahmin Tamils, were a major part of my childhood and I’m so glad that I’m in a position to write about it now.

Secondly, on my Whimsical 50, I’d like to incorporate an imaginative segment, suggested by a big guy. 😉

Let us say, we all have had a thought, at some point in life, about how we were definitely born in the wrong time (ahead or behind) . Most of us wish to be born ahead of time, given the advancements that we’d receive at a younger age. But for those who’ve seen these advancements, they end up wishing they were brought earlier to this world due to the chaotic yet simple life that was led back in the days. It would’ve been a time, when you had to remember with your own head, the timings for meetings and birthdays. It was a time when you had to return home to make calls and that they were limited. A time when emoticons didn’t exist, but human emotions mattered a lot. It was a time, when free time was spent with family and friends in a real life interface. You couldn’t see your loved ones faces, if you moved out of the city back then. It was a time when people would smile at random strangers and that would make enjoying life much more better.

Although back in the day, racism, sexism and many more ism were at their peaks, at least cyber threats were lesser. It’s a blessing to be in the time we do exist now, because of how simple our works have now become, but the chaos factor ultimately never dialed down. It , in fact, only toned up.

Tell me if you could relate.

– Shreyy, who’s skimmed through two millenniums, without ease.

P.S. – Here’s to a 50th, yet un-edited blog. Cheers!

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The Modern religious Civil War ’49’

I’ve always believed that taking things way too seriously, have their consequences. For instance, if a friend says let’s meet up often and you both know that you aren’t that close, don’t keep pushing them to meet up. It sometimes is just a rhetorical statement that often means nothing but diplomacy.

On that note, taking the issue of religion, to fight, is equally unnecessary. If fighting over with your dad over whose favourite actor is useless, since neither of the celebrities know of either of your existences, then fighting with your atheist child over religion is totally the same – useless. At least in the case of the celebrity, what you’re fighting for, exists.

And since there is no room for diplomacy on this blog, let’s get this straight. If you’re wanting to believe in something that doesn’t exist and give it credit for all your successes, might as well do it – why? Because you have the right to do it. This also works reversely for those who do not believe in such a heavenly being. I find this constant unacceptance from the parents’ side on the topic of their child’s belief in atheism. This I know because I did feel the resistance initially in my home as well. Parents like to term this a “trending behaviour”. It is oblivious to their eyes as to why it started trending in the first place. You may wonder what good comes from not believing in a religion?

We just wonder what good comes from believing in something that was created to instil hope in people when there was no theory to prove how living things came to being. And then that thing that existed as one, got separated into many religions due to difference of opinions and ideas. Wasn’t all of this chaos created by us? The very fact that religion is a category, is by itself, its own weakness. If there really was God, shouldn’t there only be one or one set of gods who created all of mankind and the universe as we know it.

Anyhow , like I mentioned before, I’m not here to criticize the beliefs of certain people just to support mine/ours. What I’m trying to put forth is the nullification of the beliefs of majority of Earth’s population, but It is rather simple. Give yourself credit for your failures as much as you do for your successes. It all seems nice to blame someone who doesn’t even exist, about something that was definitely under your control. But then, all things nice are sometimes not right.

– Shreyy, who is, let’s say, a supporter of the freedom of praticing whatever the hell people want to.

Untaught scenarios of college life ’48’

As we gear up to go back to college, I thought I’d give my readers a friendly reminder about things that matter when you get there.

THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COLLEGE :

  • Nobody cares.

This may seem pretty bizarre but I take that you’ll understand well when I say that your efforts to impress people or to always try to look perfect are almost always going to end in vain.

  • No one is too selfish.

By this, I mean that if everyone is making the same mistakes, then it turns out to be an illusionary righteous act. So when you’re in college, I encourage you to be a bit selfish about your needs and deeds, because I assure you that everyone will turn out to be the same and therefore being selfless may take you nowhere.

  • Self-learning pays off.

This is in accordance with point number one, wherein I mean that no one will make sure you’ve had a wholesome learning. This is true because everyone feels that the lesser the competition, the better. This also applies to your teaching staffs who (unlike those at school) will give you only what’s ultimately necessary from the syllabi. In that case, learning by yourself will give you enough time to process the topic and also no one can limit you here.

  • Doubting is never a crime.

When at college, maintaining your  character is a must, but to all those vulnerable people out there, try changing a bit. By this I mean, no one should be that easily trusted. No matter how many chocolate-coated words they use, I suggest that you keep your distance before deciding whether or not to get attached.

THINGS TO PUT ON YOUR PRIORITY LIST :

  • Career comes first.

Now make sure you realise that all the points in this heading will be in accordance to those in the previous heading. And since this sounds selfish, within the premises of my blog, it is deemed correct. When I say career comes first, I mean it, literally. Nothing else shall come above it until it is life demanding. All kinds of stuffs right from bunking classes because your buddy wants to, talking ill of others because your gang hates them, to all other unnecessary peer pressures of that sort, need to not only be avoided but it is best to remove them from your ‘said priority list’ all together.

  • Leisure breaks are secondary yet part of the list.

This might sound contradictory but such breaks do help to go a long way in life. Take measured breaks in life to loosen up a bit, short enough to be able to return to your work life easily. Try engaging into mind activities that are fun yet useful. Also breaks in between study hours – coffee breaks or just a small walk should help you conceive information into your brain slowly yet steadily.

  • Spend time with family.

Notice that I didn’t mention ‘quality time’. This is because you are only at the starting stages of being both busy and having spare time. So in my argument, I would ask you to spend time with them as much as possible , because you never know when you’ll run out of time.

  • Think ahead.

Your past self had done all the things that has brought you to the place you are at now. It is only fair and safe to plan what your future self should be doing with her/his life. Why is it good to start planning early? It gives you opportunities to think through all the things that could possibly go wrong and when it does, you’ll still end up having a backup plan. Better safe than sorry, remember?

  • Stay humble.

Success or at least a tint of it, comes to those who maintain humility. Why? The reason is because those who stay humble won’t brag about their achievements or more so, won’t draw too much attention to themselves, thus reducing their chances of failing. It is simple to follow, logical and also proven effective.

THINGS TO AVOID :

  • Avoid back-talking, back-stabbing and all things of that kind.
  • Avoid getting attached too soon to people or elements in college.
  • Avoid using cell phones during your spare time because real life conversations are much productive than that.
  • Avoid mocking teachers publicly. Behead them if you have to, inside your head, but do not utter a word outside.
  • Avoid finding love in college because it’ll be like skipping an important phase in life – building your career and going to the next one. And there are no short cuts in life.
  • Avoid starting petty fights for two reasons – 1. They are petty like I said and 2. They may leave a black ink on your name.
  • Basically avoid doing anything that will destroy or delay success in your career life because this is the time of your life where you either make or break your life forever.

That is all I wanted to share to all the college students – both freshers and ripened fruits. I haven’t derived them from another website or someone else’s article. These were all either directly or indirectly gained experiences that I thought you guys would find useful.

– Shreyy, now entering her 3rd year of college.

Social insecurities. ’47’

For those who’re checking my blog out for the first time, I try centering my blog around the issues that go unaddressed due to false-minimalistic appearance. I do this for each age group only as I pass that group myself. So that being said, from blog number 1 till here has been about the adolescent age and I’ll soon be moving into adulthood – both my blog and I. Happy reading! Ping me if you need to.

The title sounds familiar huh? These are the things that decide the mask we all wear for the outer world to see. The other day, while engaging in a conversation with a friend of mine who is taller than me, I realised that since I don’t get surrounded by a lot of tall people, I’ve never actually considered this an irrational first fear.

You know that feeling of trying to look perfect when you’re seeing someone for the first time – may it be anything from adjusting your dress to focusing your glasses because you really are trying ‘to look’ perfectly at this stranger. That feeling is something which drives us far away from our comfort zone. I’m not saying it is wrong but since the topic revolves around the very idea, I’ll make it look unethical for a few rounds.

Here’s a segment of appreciation to the Indian mind-set Indians for accepting girls with no cooking sense and boys with no directional sense. Some guys feel socially insecure when addressed about their driving or directional sense. It’s not a hard rule that they need to know how to drive or remember each route. It is also not right to expect a guy to be 6 ft tall, well-built, have his own vehicle and have a good memory of routes (sorry for being oddly specific). In fact considering such traits to be perfect, is by itself, backward in thinking. The same pattern applies to girls. Admit it, there are girls who drive better, not so good in the kitchen and take the upper-hand in a relationship.

What’s backwards is not the ways that people choose to follow, but how others judge them based on it.

Social insecurities are the same emotion-instigators as public nuisances such as spitting, staring point-blank at strangers, harassing and what not. Imagine yourself being spit on by your fellow passenger who has zero regrets, on a train that takes you home after a long day at work. Now imagine getting a comment on your looks or behaviour or status from a person you barely know! I see no difference.

Insecurities may range anywhere from having a bad hair day to not being able to fit into a peer group. There’s no such thing big or small. Each insecurity is like a diamond – only differently shaped but all of them bear great values. Then again, correcting society to our needs is near to impossible and totally out of control, unless you’re politically powerful. But what’s doable is to take these insecurities to your parents or any one elder to you whom you trust not to misuse them. After all they are named insecurities for a reason.

– Shreyy, with an insecurity for heights.

Measures against women (harassment) ’46’

See what I did to the title? Although measures against women and those against women harassment are meant to be opposites, I see them to be similar these days for the following reasons.

  • The other day, we went out directly from college to a mall and one of my friends were asked to give up her pair of scissors at the mall entry check. Even though the fact that a student can casually have those, they were strictly removed. But to my eyes all that I saw was a bunch of corporates not making sense. To me, a girl these days should be legally allowed to carry a sword for her protection, let alone scissors.
  • Whoever said that people abuse women only in dark lonely places, couldn’t be more wrong.  They do it right in front of hundreds of people as well. Where you ask? At the checking process of the NEET examinations. I do not intend to blame the necessity of the exam. The exam is a great criteria to select to-be doctors. BUT I’ve personally seen such incidents at the checking hall where girls are asked to strip down because the metal detectors beeps at her bust level. It is even more sad that the people who check them tend to be women and even they cannot understand that bras do have metal pieces sometimes. “Wear a bra”, says the society, “remove them” says the selection committee.
  • Now you may think I’m exaggerating, but I know for a fact that every girl would agree when I say that it feels as if the person can see through us, when they stare at us. Now, backward minded people will say guys only stare when a girl wears short and exposing dresses. I for one am a testimony myself. I wear traditional and most of the time tom-boyish outfits but no matter how covered I am, guys still stare shamelessly. So I may sound like a stereotypical feminist or you would’ve seen this in other aggressive posts, but my message to the community is : Teach your sons not to stare or misbehave with girls over your girls to not go out and wear covering clothes.
  • The very thought that occurs to guys when a girl does something that she usually shouldn’t do, is backward. If you think you belong to the majority, then very well, this time majority sucked.
  • Lastly, male partners who low-ball or take advantage of the females’ sacrifice for weakness, you guys will never be rewarded with good things. You think she gave up her posting for you because only the girls should? NO. She did it out of love and also secretly knowing that your proud ass wouldn’t do it. And if a person who is understanding is usually the smart person, we know that makes sense now.

So girls or guys who could relate to this, let me know and give in your thoughts as well.

I’ve hereby completed my decisively chosen ‘countdown to 50’ post, by my Instagram followers. Thanks to them for helping me decide and lastly, not every feminist is as stupid as they sound. You just finally start to hear what exactly men sounded like in ancient times and are unable to deal with it.

– Shreyy, who is a less crappy and sensible feminist to say the least.

 

Limiting point

Let us call the term as LP in short, to ease things up. So LP is something every human or living thing in general does have. There ain’t no doubt when it comes to how far a person can be pushed. That being said, everyone has their own levels of LP, each different from the other.

For instance,

LP 1 : People who get nagged so easily, they could hardly maintain any relationship.

LP 2 : Those who can tolerate to a level but keep changing their LPs now and then and hence are unpredictable. (do not mess with them).

LP 3 : These people have a great ability to not get tensed, or they get immune to it. You must therefore realize that you’ve gone way too far with your actions, when this type of people lose their temper.

But limiting points to some, they cannot be caused by people directly. They’re caused by what happens to the people they love. These people have been pushed too far by the harshness of life and can just not take it anymore. But the irony is that these people are almost always the only ones who have the power to get back up and fight back life. Maybe that is why life keeps testing them and pushing their limits in the first place. So if you belong to this group, you’re stronger, with much more will power and can face absolutely anything in life. So do not feel low at all. It may seem hard right now and you may want to give up, but remember how you said this the last time, and you made it out successfully? That will happen again.

Shreyy’s blog was started by her, just to address any problem that an adolescent goes through and by doing so, no only did she channel out her stress, she also probably helped people to feel better, by knowing they are not alone. Read About the Author. to know more.

Tell her how you feel and how you eventually overcame it.

– Shreyy, who swears that it’s the best feeling to refer to herself in third person.

Motivation in the new age.

Honestly, whoever thought that motivational videos are to be watched only when depressed or so, needs a moment of silence. And this was agreeable with a friend of mine about two weeks ago, who discovered that I’m so much into these videos as he is. The thing about these is that more than the words, the BGM (BackGround Music) is what pumps up your adrenaline to work harder and stronger. And it is always predictable. The music is undoubtedly mostly from Two steps from hell.

THERE are another group of people who get stuck up with these videos, so much that they can’t stop watching them more and more, rather than do the work that the motivation should’ve made them do (Talk about priorities). I’d strongly suggest to watch them whenever possible, just like your daily dose of milk or caffeine or a replacement for any such sidekicks. Most of these videos, if you notice properly, contain clips of Will Smith from the movie ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’. I’m always led to believe that this is because of his strong name, or the hard-working community he represents or because of the real struggles in life, that he faced. Either way, only the way he talks is enough to keep your blood pumped up with power.

They’ve definitely helped me through hard times and generally every time I needed someone to motivate me, they were there. It’s like a virtual friend who keeps shouting into your ears to get up and fight back against life (something real-life friends don’t do!).

Shreyy, a someone who has thus far derived motivation only by the above method.

Moving on.

So, as I was having a memory session with myself, I realized that not all teens are lucky enough to have their school friends all the way, till the end. Then again there’s a saying that at what time people come in doesn’t matter, but how long they stay, does.

This required me to tell my fellow readers, that I was in fact not invited hereafter (trying to be polite) by my previous school groups. And back then I thought I’ve found the right social group where I finally belonged. Let’s not get this situation confused. The group did not dissolve. It is still active as ever. They just don’t ask me out anymore. And as the mature person I was, I took the hint and left.

There have been instances where you break away from a group you don’t even belong to. This happens to us when we stalk them long enough to learn that they’re not our type. I’ve been through that too. Much later on, while moving out to my fourth and final school for higher secondary, I was tried and tested by many peers and finally ended up with one girl. She has stuck longer than any friend in my life ever has (3 years). Another person in college has stuck with me and I already know from my past experience that the person is a person to stay.

All this has had me thinking when it finally hit me with a wave of self-realization. Maybe I’m one of those kids who don’t even belong with a group. It is individual friendship that sticks with me and has worked for me thus far. Email me your experience or leave a comment below if you’d want to make it public. Were you a grouper or a one-on-one friend?

– Shreyy, who realized being too honest and expecting the same is the worst combination. Ever.

Invisible emotions

IN-Visible

Is that even a thing? Invisible emotions? Hidden could be appropriate, but that would mean you’re hiding them consciously. By invisible I mean the emotions or feelings that grow within you without your knowledge. I’ve come to think of feelings as angry pebbles these days, that scream “Everybody Rocks but me!”. They’ve become comparative and hence meaningless.

  • Get your mother groceries? She replies, “You know, my friends’ kids cook for them…”.
  •  Fix up an account for you grandfather? He hits you with, “Your other cousin used to massage my knees you know?”.

Honestly, why? Why compare with someone else’s good deeds when I’m already doing one right now in the present tense (which doesn’t get felt).

So speaking of invisible feelings, they might range from untimely crushes to unexpected hatred that grow within you, and burst out one fine sunny/rainy day when you least expect it. I’d suggest self-analyzing to put this problem at ease, but it is such emotions that define human nature. So embrace them while you can. 🙂

– Shreyy, trying to be as visible and transparent as possible.

The century matures!

It is indeed a late post when compared to other new year references. It was the day of the harvest festival in India. In my state, TamilNadu, the festival is named ‘Thai Pongal’ (spelled as thy ponghul). It is celebrated across four days from the 14th to the 17th of January according to the tamil months. These four days take up different themes but on the whole serve the same purpose, which is to give thanks to the Sun god , Surya (spelled as Soorya), for the good harvest gotten and for the main essence of life itself.

DAY 1: BHOGI :

People on this day, wake up as early as 2 or 3 AM to burn all the old things in their house. This makes sure that no old memories or unnecessary things are carried onto the new life to be lead from the next day, which is Pongal.

DAY 2: Thai Pongal :

This is the main fest day of all four. Ironically, the main dish to be made on this day, is also called Pongal, which is made from the first harvest of that season. It is directly served to the Sun god, as a token of appreciation and thanks. It is prominent over generations together that no matter how cold or dim the weather of January seems to be, the day of pongal is always a sunny day.

DAY 3: Maatu Pongal :

This is a historic day for many reasons. It is the day, when the cattle of the fields are honoured for their work there. It is also pretty special since the era of the cattle in TamilNadu almost came to an end but was saved by the youngsters of TN who go down into History.

DAY 4: Kaanum Pongal :

This day is a  day to simply be enjoyed. Every employee and employer take leave on this day to be with their family and go out to fairs, or the beach or whatever is their definition of happiness.

Now that I’ve briefed you about the day that I wanted to post the blog on (but couldn’t), let me congratulate the 21st century on its coming-of-age occasion. I consider every non-existent (non-living) thing as a female (Be it a country or years etc.) , so in other words, the century has henceforth matured. And to my understanding, every month from now on up until maybe 2045-2055, at least for roughly three days, the world experiences discomfort. And that’s because of the year herself feels uneasy. Keep track if you want to, because I stand by what I just said. Be it natural calamity, a political disaster, academical politics or civil wars, they will get worse on those days (around the middle of each month). So good luck earthlings *-* .

-Shreyy, an earthling who is experiencing what she just predicted.